First we were two, now we are four. 4 times 2 is 8, and today is our 8th anniversary. This is us in the judge's chambers around 2pm on Friday, Sept. 29, 2000. Lucky for us we were married in a year ending in zero's so when we're 90, we'll easily be able to figure out how long it has been.
Almost exactly a year ago, Kai and Seda came to be when our DNA was mixed in a dish. How romantic.
I won't be getting the traditional pottery or bronze gifts, because I'm far from traditional. I will probably be getting a humorous card, as is our tradition. We don't really do gifts for each other. After all, we've given each other the greatest gift of all this year, the gift of children. Tonight's dinner will be crusty tilapia, mashed potatoes and peas, one of the hub's favorites.
I guess you could say we celebrated yesterday, by going out to lunch at the Indian buffet. Of course the kids were there with us, soaking up the curry fumes. We can't wait till they are ready to eat there too. Kai was awake and very interested the whole time. Seda slept through most of it, despite my waiving a papadum under her nose.
It's been a crazy day on the kid front. It seems like all of a sudden they are requiring more food at each feeding. There was much screaming at mealtimes and I couldn't get the food down their gullets fast enough. There were nursing strikes and hunger strikes thrown in as well. Now why would you go on strike when you're hungry? We went grocery shopping late morning, came back, fed, bathed, and late this afternoon I was sat across the living room from them, watching their angelic sleep.
K got the go ahead from the doc on Thurs to do some light weight bearing on his foot. Now he can hobble around like a crony of Captain Jack Sparrow with one crutch, a cane or no assistance at all. So this morning, he changed a diaper for the first time in 2 months! That means about 1200 diapers escaped his involvement. Wow...1200 in two months...good thing we do cloth! That's 1200 diapers that never went to a landfill!
These kids still sleep most of the day, all night, and are awake for an hour or two here and there before or after a feeding. Some days I can even sneak in a nap when they nap. These are still the easy times I guess, but I can tell that Seda's going to be on the move before Kai. She was the one kicking up a storm in the womb, while he just relaxed. I'm in no hurry for the crawling to commence, that's for sure. I'm going to have to start eating more because the weight loss will continue while I'm chasing these guys!
Not theirs, mine. At least once a week, I have a nightmare that we are still trying to get pregnant. The poking and prodding, the emotional burden, the whole nine yards! I wonder why this is happening? The dreams are vivid, and I'm a bit stunned when I wake up and realize that I do indeed have two beautiful babies in my midst.
We are the survivors of infertility and IVF. Here is our success story.
Our journey through infertility began in 2001, when we sought treatment after trying for a little more than a year. I was already down one ovary, but I was only 32, so there was still “time.” Well, that “time” was told by the slowest ticking clock in history, even though my obsession with wanting to get pregnant and have kids was racing at full speed.
To make a long story short, after losing a right ovary to a 3.5 lb cyst, then trying 6 IUI cycles with Clomid, then a lateral incision myomectomy, a blighted ovum m/c, acupuncture, naturopathy and another vertical incision myomectomy, then trying on our own a few months with a repaired uterus, we finally took the plunge into the world of IVF. Our first cycle in April 2007 was a bust, but the second cycle in October 2007 was a roaring success. We became the proud parents of boy/girl twins in May 2008, about 8 years after initially talking about having kids! Whew! What a journey it has been, and I have the road map of scars to show it.
After the first unsuccessful attempt, I was ready to give up. We even started talking about adoption. I started thinking more positively about things and quit dwelling on the negatives in my life. In that respect, I did a lot of yoga and walking to keep my brain in good shape. I hugged the dog a lot too. We had one more chance for another IVF cycle, and my best advice to anyone is to take that last chance when you have it! When the doctor asked if we were sure we wanted all 3 embryos transferred and reminded us of the risk of triplets, I said, “Let’s go for it! We’ve got nothing to lose.” I must say we were a tiny bit nervous about the first ultrasound because triplets would mean so many things, like needing a bigger car. We were thrilled when we saw the two little gummi bears on the screen! I work in a fertility clinic and was a patient in the same, so it was fun and easy just walking down the hall for bloodwork and ultrasounds.
The things I have learned along the way are this: A definite reason for infertility is so much easier to deal with than being diagnosed as “unexplained.” We of the unexplained are always trying to figure out a reason for being broken and we really beat ourselves up about it. And as hard as it is to go to your gyne’s office and see all the pregnant women, they are really there to give us hope that we too will one day stand in their shoes.
These are our first and last kids…a boy and girl, Kai and Seda. Who needs more? It’s the perfect equation. We already have the dog, so we are now an instant nuclear family. Good thing we don’t live in China, or we would have had to leave Seda at the curb. Besides, I considered pregnancy to be a debilitating disease because I’m such an active person and was pretty much totally immobilized by the seventh month. I’m also going to be ancient (40) in February in terms of fertility, so that’s that. Mission accomplished.
The little rascals are trucking along, plumping up nicely for being born 5 weeks early. Yesterday we celebrated Kai and Seda’s fourth month out in the air-breathing world. No fanfare, really, just a commemorative photo to add to the fourth picture slot in my twelve-slot frame.
There was no way of knowing that the last four months were going to be this easy. Not sure what I expected, but it’s been a breeze! Shortly before they were three months old, they were sleeping through the night. Up until then, I thought that the waking-up-every-three-hours-at-night thing would never end.
Pregnancy was also the best weight loss program I’ve ever encountered! Not that I have ever dieted, per se, but I have tried to lose 10 pounds or so over the last 6 years by watching my food intake and exercising. But nothing works as well as breastfeeding! I now weigh 10 pounds less than before getting pregnant!
I am gaining SAINT status these days because my husband had foot surgery on August 12, and I haven’t killed him yet. I’m amazed how much time is taken up by all the little chores he would do that I now have to do while he recovers. This, of course, is in addition to my usual role as cook, grocery shopper, maid, groundskeeper, new mom of twins, dog walker, etc. I bet you never thought about how many trips up and down the stairs are required when you do five loads of laundry in one day. That is five trips per load, so 25 trips per day! I think that’s why I now have legs of steel. Fortunately, this isn’t a daily occurrence. We do cloth diapers, but that’s the least of my worries. So again…I think I deserve a saint award of some kind. A coworker recently asked how my hubby was doing and asked if I’m still planning to stay married to him! I of course said, “Yes.” He’s on crutches, and that is thirsty work, and of course he can’t fetch his own glass of water. So Yours Truly runs to his aid. He did acquire a wheelchair to have a much-needed break from using crutches in the house. This is great for him, not much help for me, and fun for the twins as he takes them for joy rides up and down the hall. Women at work say they would be bitching and whining about his lack of help, but I say there’s not much point because I can’t do anything about it.
And when will he be back on his feet you ask? Ohhhhhh…January or so. He’s dreaming of skiing by February. Hmmm…bet he has no dreams of CHORES. I have put my letter in for a sabbatical from holiday entertaining this year for sure. We will be traveling for that to the homes of others, so no EXTRA work for me! Yay!